Date Box Valentine's Day Idea

Thanks to Rubies and Rewards, Hal was able to open his Valentine's Day present a little early!  While I was in DC, Sarah and I put together a fun surprise for our husbands.  We originally saw the idea on Desiring Virtue.  Jessalyn did an AMAZING job on her box for husband.  We took her basic idea and put together something similar. Over coffee and brownies, we spent time brainstorming.  We each came up with 11 fun and unique dates (since we are starting in February).  We also included a marriage challenge for each month.  

 Our Basket of date. A separate envelope for each month.

 We went to Michael's and picked up some scrapbook paper to fancy up the envelopes.

 Each envelope contained a marriage challenge and date night idea.  While we were shopping in Georgetown, we found a fun paper store that had a lot of card making supplies 1/2 off to use in our envelopes.

 For February, Hal and I watched Courageous.  I tried to come up with a good mix of at home dates and dates where we would get a babysitter.

 Our February marriage challenge is to pray together everyday.

 Each envelope also includes two prayer cards.  We can write prayer requests for the month on them and they are small enough to fit in a wallet or place beside the sink.

 I put his basket on his bedside table!  I can't wait for him to open the envelope for March!  It is something we have both wanted to do for awhile!

I looking forward to having something planned each month that is focused on just the two of us!  Jessalyn included some other great items in her box and I am totally jelous of her wax seals! :)  Maybe I will make this an annual tradition and invest more time preparing next year!

For My Power is Made Perfect

2 Corinthians 12:9

The last couple of weeks have been long.  We had a wonderful but exhausting vacation. Getting laundry done and getting back into a routine was interrupted by big brother getting a triple whammy of sickness: strep, stomach bug, and a sinus infection.  At the same time, little brother is working on his bottom two teeth.  In the midst of all this, Hal and I have been praying about a situation and the answer isn’t coming as quickly as we would like.  I am tired: mentally, physically, and spiritually.  The temptation to whine, complain, and give in to an overall pitiful attitude has been overwhelming at times.  Each time I feel the urge to just bust out in tears, snap at big brother, or lash out at Hal, I hear a certain scripture ever so gently whispered to my soul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

Lindsay, you don’t have to find the strength to clean up the vomit again, FOR MY POWER IS MADE PERFECT IN YOUR WEAKNESS.  I will give you the strength.

Lindsay, you don’t have to figure it all out: the timing and the answer, FOR MY POWER IS MADE PERFECT IN YOUR WEAKNESS. I will answer when I am ready and I will work out every little detail.

Lindsay, you don’t need to feel overwhelmed about getting all the housework done and worrying about if you are measuring up, FOR MY POWER IS MADE PERFECT IN YOUR WEAKNESS.  I will bless your efforts to serve your family.  

Lindsay, you don’t have to keep on giving in your strength, FOR MY POWER IS MADE PERFECT IN YOUR WEAKNESS. I will fill you so that you can keep giving of yourself even when you think there is nothing left to give.

FOR MY POWER IS MADE PERFECT IN YOUR WEAKNESS...how gracious the LORD is to give us the energy, strength, and endurance we need if we can humble ourselves by admitting our weakness and admitting we are in need of His help.  When we aren’t able, He is able.  

7:30 PM

Two closed doors = Two sleeping boys = Quiet time for Mom & Dad

Date Night

Hal and I often talk about how we took for granted the time we had alone together before we had kids.  We were blessed to be able to travel a lot before kids, but I don't think you completely understand what a blessing that time is together until you are not able to get the one-on-one time quite as often when kids come along.  We both know it is important to get that time, but it seems life often gets in the way. It doesn't have to be an elaborate meal or a big event, it is just important to spend time with your man when your attention can be solely focused on him and not the hungry baby or inquisitive 3 year old.  Since we took my mom with us to Disney, we were able to sneak away each night for some much needed Hal & Lindsay time. 

Monday night after we put the boys to bed, we just walked down to the pool area at our resort and put our very tired feet in the hot tub. It was nice to talk kiddo free and my sweet man bought me a Pumpkin Spice Latte to go along with the conversation.  

Tuesday night we headed to Downtown Disney to do a little shopping without D's input.  Going in a store with him wasn't a pleasant experience.  He was sure he needed everything he saw! Of course we managed to spend some $$$, but we did pick up several Christmas gifts.

Wednesday night we left mom with both boys and headed back to Epcot around 5:00. We had planned on doing dinner at one of the restaurants in the World Showcase, but once we saw the International Food & Wine Festival our plans changed!  We had the best time walking around and trying food from the different countries that we wouldn't have normally tried.  Each country offered a few different choices.  It looks like we are eating a ton and we did try a lot of things, but the portions were small.  We enjoyed it so much that we would plan our next Disney trip around this festival.  Here is our culinary trip around the world!

Greece: Fried cheese with honey and pistachios

France: Coq au Vin

Ireland: Cheese plate with apple chutney

Japan: Spicy Tuna Rolls and Pork Kakuni(spare ribs)

Poland: Keilbasa and Potato Pierogi

Italy: Ravioli di Formiaggia all Emilliana

Ready for the fireworks!

We found freshly made carmel corn in one of the stores in Germany.  If I could make this for my husband at home he would be a very happy man.

Epcot Fireworks

What is your favorite date night?  Share your ideas with us.  How do you make date night a priority?

9:12 AM

Love this man ... and the way he loves my boys.

Lessons In The Wait: Longing To Be A Mother

Although I never personally struggled with infertility (at least not so far), I do have several close friends and family that have faced this difficult battle.  I have watched both of these ladies that are sharing with us today walk through this difficult season.  I know you will be encouraged by them as much as I have been!

Amy and her husband struggled with infertility for almost 4 years.  After repeated treatments and no diagnosed reason for their inability to conceive, they began the adoption process.  In August of this year, they received the call they had been waiting on for almost a year.  Their precious son is 2 months old. 

Kathy and her husband dealt with infertility for almost 20 years.  During those years she was able to share in the lives of her 9 nieces and nephews and the numerous children she taught.  After several different treatments, they chose to pursue adoption.  They welcomed two brothers into their home in 1999.  This year, the oldest will graduate from high school.

Amy and her husband, Donnie, with their
son.

What is the greatest lesson you have learned as you waited on God to answer your desire to be a mother?

Amy: The greatest lesson that I have learned from waiting is that God is always in control. He is always faithful to meet all of our needs right when we need Him.

Kathy: The greatest lesson I learned is that God is in control, not me!! He has an ultimate plan for my life and His timing is perfect! I know that may sound simple, but I truly believe many Christians try to live their life without truly getting hold of this truth.

What do you wish that would have known now that you have a child/children?

Amy: How fast time flies when you are with them. I kind of knew that time would fly by, but man I can't believe that he is almost 2 months old. 

Kathy: That it's not as easy as you may think from the outside looking in. I could be critical of parents before I became one, thinking I had better ideas of how to handle children. After all I'd worked with a lot of children - I just didn't live with them and invest my heart in them as a parent does - didn't know the inner struggles. Teaching a child to follow God's truths is a lot easier than training them ~ they really do mimic what they see. 

Sometimes, people don't know what to say or how to pray for someone who is struggling with infertility. What would you suggest they say or how would you suggest they handle it?

Amy: Honestly, I would suggest that people just say that they are praying for God's will in the lives of their friends. That was more encouraging to me than anything. I also appreciated when people just listened to me and let me express my feelings at that particular moment. It did not help when people said that they understood what I was going through when they did not have infertility issues. It also didn’t help when people told me not to think about things (because that is pretty much impossible when you are going through infertility treatments), or even when they said that it just isn't the right time. I think that kind of sounds harsh for me to say because in my heart I knew that part.  We knew that God had a special timing for us, but hearing it over and over did not make things any easier.

Kathy: Offer a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, and sincerely praying with you - not just say 'I'm praying for you.' - do it together. I had so many say to me that 'when you quit focusing on it it'll happen'. Like Amy said that's pretty much impossible with infertility treatments ~ you are having to track so many things! Don't shy away from me because you have children. Be sensitive, but trying to spare my feelings by shying away from me hurts - we love being around and with children. Their faces are our proof God answers prayers. 

Kathy with her husband, Steve, and her boys, Kyle and Dallas

What is a scripture you clung to?

Amy: 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18 - “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”   It is also the life verse we have chosen for our son and it hangs in his room as a reminder.

Kathy: When teaching in a Christian school our class was to memorize Psalm 34:8-19, and Steve and I were struggling to understand God's will in this area. These verses soothe my soul even today. Especially verses, 8, 15, 17, 18. Even though at the time we didn't memorize it, verse 1 of that chapter was also a blessing/challenge.

 8 Taste and see that the LORD is good; 

   blessed is the one who takes refuge in him. 

9 Fear the LORD, you his holy people, 

   for those who fear him lack nothing. 

10 The lions may grow weak and hungry, 

   but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing. 

11 Come, my children, listen to me; 

   I will teach you the fear of the LORD. 

12 Whoever of you loves life 

   and desires to see many good days, 

13 keep your tongue from evil 

   and your lips from telling lies. 

14 Turn from evil and do good; 

   seek peace and pursue it.

 15 The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous, 

   and his ears are attentive to their cry; 

16 but the face of the LORD is against those who do evil, 

   to blot out their name from the earth.

 17 The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; 

   he delivers them from all their troubles. 

18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted 

   and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

 19 The righteous person may have many troubles, 

   but the LORD delivers him from them all. Psalm 34:8-19

I thought I wold finish up with a statement that Kathy made as we were putting this together.

Looking into the eyes of your child ~ whether God gave them to you biologically or through adoption ~ and hearing and saying' I love you' is such a privilege. 

If you have struggled with infertility, how did God encourage you through the process?

Lessons in The Wait ... Being Single When You Long to Be Married

Source

The bride’s dress was amazing.  The groom looked over the moon in love. The vows were heartfelt.  The flowers were gorgeous.  The cake was splendid sugary goodness. It was a beautiful wedding, but IT is inevitable.  What is IT?  IT is the dreaded bouquet toss.  The time when the relationship status of single girls is displayed for all to see like the bright lights of Vegas.  I know that scene all too well and totally boycotted the tradition at my own wedding!  Call me a party pooper, but I had been there, done that, one too many times!  It is one of many times when you are face to face with the fact that you are single but your heart longs to be married.  I was 24 (almost 25) when I married Hal.  The years between college and my marriage were refining years for me.  God taught me a lot about myself and even more about who He is.  I had intended to also give my responses to the questions below, but when I read the responses from Sarah, I decided you didn’t need to hear from me today.  

Sarah and her husband, Jay, live outside of Washington, DC where Jay works as a Naval officer currently stationed at the Pentagon.  She is a Razorback loving girl married to an Oklahoma Sooner.

Jay and Sarah

What was greatest lesson God taught you in The Wait?

There are many things that the Lord taught me while I was single and waiting!  I think the one that stands out most in my memory was learning about the character of God, specifically His goodness.  It was really a matter of Him asking me, "Do you believe that I am who I say that I am?  Do you believe that I am good, and all that I do is good?"  I learned from scripture that God is good and it is impossible for Him to be otherwise.  Resting in the truth of God's Word made it possible for me to trust God with the desires of my heart.  

What do you wish you had known now that you are married?

1.  How to cook, grocery shop, and menu plan

I survived off of Lean Cuisine pepperoni pizzas, Chick-fil-a, and Sunday night dinners with my family for most of my single life.  However, my microwaving and drive-thru skills have yet to impress my husband.  It's hard to cook for just one person, but it would have helped my first year of marriage if I'd had at least a little experience.

2.  How to practice hospitality

I tend toward introversion, but I married the most personable, friendly, and social man you will ever meet.  Jay loves to host his friends, neighbors, and colleagues.  I've learned that hospitality is a skill that requires some preparation and work, but is always worth it.  I wish I'd practiced hospitality more when I was single - even just hosting girlfriends for coffee and dessert. It would have been a great practice for helping my husband in this way now.

3.  God's design for marriage

Reading more about God's design for the husband and wife in marriage would have been a great blessing now as I'm learning (and will continue to learn!).   Lindsay has posted about The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace, and we have said in conversation many times, "I wish I had known this before I was married!!"   We prepare for four years or more in waiting to begin a career - how much more should we prepare for marriage while we wait?  

  

What one scripture did you cling to?

I clung to a lot of verses about God's goodness!  Here are a few:

• No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.  Psalm 84:11
• You are good and do good.  Psalm 119:68
• And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose...to be conformed to the image of His Son...  Romans 8:28-29

  

The Lord used these verses, among others, to convince me of His goodness in the midst of my waiting.  Any bitterness or fear or loneliness that crept into my heart was quickly rebuked with the truth of God's character - and His good intentions towards me. 

How did God use your single time to change you?

If I start counting at 22 - because honestly, my dream was to be married right out of college - God gave me seven years of waiting.  I hope that from His perspective, I was refined.  During that time I learned about contentment in the Lord alone.  I also learned to be vulnerable before the Lord in prayer.  Sadly, I don't remember asking the Lord for a husband until I was 27.   It was almost as if I was afraid to ask Him - in case He said no.   I finally had the realization that asking God for something as good and godly as marriage (after all, marriage was His idea!), was not wrong.   In fact, it was probably sinful for me NOT to acknowledge Him in my desire for marriage.  Once I began intentionally petitioning the Lord for a husband, there was a sense of security that guarded my heart.  No longer was my heart gripped with fear  when thoughts of being single flooded my mind;  instead, by God's grace, I could meditate on the truth that God will give me what is good, according to His glory.  

What other encouragement or resources would you give to single women desiring marriage?

I read a few books that were immensely helpful in shaping my thoughts about both singleness and marriage.  The following titles are pretty funny (the kind you might rather purchase on Amazon than buy at the bookstore, ha).  BUT the biblical wisdom presented is really helpful.  I highly recommend them both.

1.  Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye?:  Trusting God with a Hope Deferred by Carolyn McCulley

2.  Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help It Happen by Candice Watters

Growth Moments

Source

It is important to look for and recognize the times whenever you can see the work that God is doing in your life. Those moments where we “put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” (Ephesians 4:22-24)  When we recognize these moments there are a couple of things that happen as a result.

• Praise: When we overcome a temptation or see the result of a difficult obedience, we can take the opportunity to praise God for His faithfulness and give Him glory for what He is doing in our lives.

• Encouragement: Victories in our lives, no matter how big or small, give us encouragement to keep going forward in our faith.  When we share those experiences with others they are able to receive encouragement as well.

Last week I was able to experience a growth moment while Hal was out of town on business.  He had left on Sunday afternoon and was supposed to get back home on Wednesday evening.  Tuesday night, I had a friend over for coffee after we had put our kids to bed.  As she was walking in the door, Hal called to tell me that their trip was going to be extended through Friday.  

Let me first describe how the scene would have usually looked: I probably would have let out a loud sigh and then whined about how difficult it would be to have the boys by myself, blah, blah, blah.  I then would have spent the next three days making sure he knew how hard it was by complaining and trying my best to make him feel sorry for me.  And even nastier than my actions would have been my heart attitude that was full of the “poor pitiful me” attitude.

This particular time was different.  I was able to express to him that I was ready for him to be home, but that we would be fine and that the hard part was going to be explaining to Big Brother why we weren’t going to get daddy at the airport the next day.  I made it through the week, with joy I might add.  I have been praying for the LORD to cultivate that gentle and quiet spirit that His Word talks about and I saw a glimmer that night. A growth moment. Praise Jesus!  We won’t talk about how I completely acted like a baby less than an hour after he landed at the airport!

Okay, now it is your turn!  When you experience those growth or victory moments, take note and remember them.  Send me an email and tell me about your moment. And if you would like, we can share it on Rubies and Rewards and let others receive the encouragement and God receive the glory!

Random Friday

Watching TV together :)

I am feeling a little scattered today, so you get my rambling thoughts and a super cute picture to go with them

1. What I Didn’t Know About the Pill: Honestly, I struggled to put this post up. I had it done and edited for over a week before I ever scheduled it, but I knew that I needed to be obedient and share what God had laid on my heart to share with you.  The response was AMAZING.  Even though there weren’t many comments left on the actual posts, I saw numerous comments left on FB links to the post.  October 5th’s daily page view count was the highest to date.  It was a good encouragement to me to know that others were reading it.  Around lunch on Wednesday I ran a quick errand with the boys.  While we were shopping, I started getting a migraine.  It was my first one in several months.  For me, migraines are hormonal and guess what controls them?  Yup, you guessed it: Birth Control.  When I started feeling it come on, I had the strangest reaction ... I smiled.  It was a gentle reminder to me that obedience is hard.  A reminder that doing the right thing and being obedient doesn’t always mean sunshine and roses, but the peace of God is way better than sunshine and roses!
2. I survived a week with both boys by myself!  Hal has been out of town this week.  He was supposed to be back on Wednesday, but his trip was extended.  I know that he has to travel for his job some, but I sure HATE him being away.  I miss his help, but I just miss his presence more!  Big brother had a small meltdown on Wednesday night.  He was past ready to see his daddy.  I have bribed him with ice cream and french fries all week and this afternoon we get to pick up daddy at the airport.
3. Don’t forget to enter the giveaway for a GraceTag necklace.  Click HERE to enter. I love reading which necklace you would chose and why!
4. Have a great weekend!

What I Didn't Know About the Pill

As I read the words in front of me, I felt myself getting sick at my stomach. How could I not have known this? Why didn’t anyone ever tell me? Could this have happened to me? My mind was racing. I picked up the phone and called Hal. I read him the words, and he said: “Well, I guess that makes our decision.”

We had been talking and praying about what to do about/for birth control for several months. During my pregnancy with B, I had read an article online from a source I trust that had begun my questions about whether or not I should be taking a birth control pill. Since I was pregnant at that time, we didn’t have to make the decision right away. At my 6-week post-partum check up, my doctor and I discussed the different options that were available to me since I was nursing. She wrote me a prescription for a pill that I would be able to take while I was nursing. After the appointment, I filled the prescription and, for probably the first time ever, I read the drug information the pharmacy gives you when you fill a prescription. 

“This medication is used to prevent pregnancy. It is often referred to as the “mini-pill” because it does not contain any estrogen.” Norethindrone (a form of progestin) is a hormone that prevents pregnancy by changing the womb and cervical mucus to make it more difficult for the egg to meet sperm (fertilization) or for the fertilized egg to attach to the wall of the womb (implantation). Regular use of this pill prevents the release of an egg (ovulation) in about half of the women who use it. While the “mini-pill” is more effective than certain other methods of birth control (e.g. condoms, cervical cap, diaphragm), it is less effective than estrogen/progestin birth control because it does not consistently prevent ovulation.”

Those words shocked, sickened, and saddened me all at the same time. I had always just assumed that the pill prevented ovulation 100% of the time. Until reading the article mentioned above, it never even crossed my mind that it was possible for ovulation, fertilization, and conception to occur, but implantation to be prevented due to the effects of the hormones in the birth control pill. I just naively took the pills and believed that it was preventing ovulation, but as I read the drug pamphlet, I was completely aware of how this birth control pill worked.

I won’t ever know if the pills I took for years prevented ovulation or if they prevented implantation. There is nothing I can do about a decision I made in the past. I can only confess the sin before the LORD and ask for His forgiveness, and then I have to leave it there. In God’s infinite mercy, He forgives the sin a believer confesses before Him. I don’t believe I will be held accountable for something that I didn’t know, but that once I have the knowledge I can’t continue on in the same behavior. Now that I know how the pill works, I am responsible for this knowledge.

Those of you who have been reading “Rubies and Rewards” know that one of the reasons I started this blog is to encourage women in their pursuit of becoming the kind of woman that God desires us to be and that He talks about in His Word. I am not writing this to condemn or judge anyone. I am writing this because I didn’t know these facts, and maybe you don’t either. Take this information, research it further, talk with your doctor, and pray about it. I am not a medical doctor, and I don’t pretend to be. I have been told that some pills work differently than others. Research the pill you take. 

For me, it was written in black and white in front of me. I also understand that in some people’s eyes this is a gray area. But for Hal and I, this was not a gray area. We felt that if conception occurred and that if something I was taking (birth control pill) purposely prevented the pregnancy from progressing, then we were not comfortable with that option or any hormonal birth control that couldn’t 100% guarantee us that ovulation wouldn’t occur.

13 For you created my inmost being; 

   you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; 

   your works are wonderful, 

   I know that full well. 

15 My frame was not hidden from you 

   when I was made in the secret place, 

   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 

16 Your eyes saw my unformed body; 

   all the days ordained for me were written in your book 

   before one of them came to be. 

17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God! 

   How vast is the sum of them!

          Psalm 139:13-17